Brutal and Beautiful are the two words that best sum up my 2023. This year was really tough; it tested and triggered me a lot, and at the same time it was beautiful and rewarding and many ways, for which I am so grateful.
Brutal were the days of feeling completely helpless watching my mom suffer from pain and mental strain of the big C.
Beautiful was the continuous love and support from family, friends, and colleagues which provided immense comfort.
Brutal were the thoughts of “what if things don’t go well…?” or “Was this the last Christmas or Birthday…?” And knowing your family were also afraid and asking themselves the same things.
Beautiful were the days my mom fought her battle with such grace and sass.
Brutal were the hours waiting for her to come out of surgery.
Beautiful was the moment we were told my mom was in remission and we’d live together for some time still.
Brutal were the days she was still experiencing pain and discomfort.
Beautiful was looking forward to the memories we’ll be able to make and no longer ask “What if…” and that my future children won’t have to look at pictures of their grandmother on our phones or picture frames, but they will experience her warm hugs and love everyday.
Brutal were the times I second-guessed myself or lacked confidence.
Beautiful were the days spent working with my team and advancing in my career with support from my colleagues and mentors.
Brutal was the mental struggle of making a big life decision alone.
Beautiful was the day I finally made the decision and went for what I wanted even though it was scary.
Brutal was leaving home (again) and worrying about my parents.
Beautiful was moving into my apartment and creating a space full of colour and peace.
Brutal was the day a close loved one reached a breaking point.
Beautiful was the moment they decided to make a change.
Brutal was witnessing a close friend suffer an unimaginable heartbreaking loss.
Beautiful were the moments of connection with family and friends.
Brutal were the days unpacking the last few years and realizing how bad things were.
Beautiful were the nights dancing and singing, completely happy with how my life turned out.
Brutal was realizing there is still so much healing to do.
Beautiful were the mornings waking up after restful sleep and feeling grateful and at peace.
Beautiful was rekindling old friendships and making memories.
Beautiful is the hope and optimism for the new year.
I don’t have big plans for 2024. Nothing grandiose. But I do know that this year will be a year of healing. A year full of colour and wonder. A year of rest and adventure. A year where I enjoy the slowness of my life and focus on myself and continue to foster the connections with those close to me. 2024 will be the year I finally put myself first.
Happy New Year, I hope you will experience a year full of wonder, love and colour too 🤍